mentalhealthhqcicWhen working with young people it is not uncommon for them to tell me they feel angry. This is the emotion they recognise first and foremost. It might be that they feel frustrated sad, or confused but they don’t know how to recognise their emotions. Their brains are undergoing a number of changes during adolescence. These can make them more emotional and oversensitive. It might feel a bit like living on a rollercoaster during this crucial time.
It was Gottman who introduced the idea of an anger iceberg. The idea is that the emotion you see is anger while under the surface all other emotions might be present. It is about helping people to try and work out what the emotions are they may be feeling underneath. With the iceberg, what we see is only the tip of what is going on underneath.
Emotions are all valid, it is how they are displayed that can be a little less desirable.
Emotions will often give us physical feelings. A sore tummy can be a classic sign of anxiety in young people for example. One mum I worked with said she had her daughter investigated for all sorts of physical things. It turned out what was wrong was that she was anxious. Helping them to work where on their body they might feel the emotion, and even assigning it a colour is really helpful. Once they can work this out they can learn to recognise when a challenging emotion is brewing. Then they can look to potentially do something to manage it.
Support may be appropriate to help with managing an underlying trauma or other event. This will in turn help calm them down. If you feel your young person might benefit from some 1:1 support why not get in touch or book a space on our Brain Tools Project.
