mentalhealthhqcic
Human Givens Therapy is based on the understanding that if we have our needs met in balance we will be healthy. There are times however when things might get in the way and stop this from happening. If we are in a toxic environment it can be a real barrier. The environment can serve to keep us in a heightened state of anger or anxiety for example.
Take a child who is being bullied at school, or an adult being bullied in the workplace. Their needs will be under threat in a number of ways. They will begin to feel unsafe – their need for security is under attack. They may also feel things are out of their control which is really unsettling. What this will mean is that they start off every morning with high levels of cortisol in their system and in a state of fight or flight.
How will this present itself?
It is hard to know how this might present, but here are some ideas:
They may be irritable at home. School refusal might become a problem or absences from work. An anxious or angry child will struggle to learn or concentrate. They will be more reactive to things that happen during the day. It will be difficult for them to find calm. If the situation has been traumatic in some way, ritual humiliation or physical assault, they will feel triggered the whole time they are in the situation. Moving past the trauma and and processing it will be a struggle. Sometimes the only way to resolve things is to change the environment.
Of course a toxic environment is not always something that can be fixed quickly. Changing a school can be a lengthy process. New employment is not always something that can be sought at short notice. Last year I supported young people who had difficult home situations. Again, leaving home at 15 is not an option. In these situations, it may be about finding short term fixes. If it is peer on peer bullying, speak to school staff to work towards a solution. If it is a toxic work place perhaps speak to HR about a colleague who is troubling you.
How Can I support them?
When they are not at work or school, support them to work on implementing some relaxation strategies. Get them to imagine a ”safe” space which they can visit in their mind’s eye when they become overwhelmed. Go for a walk with them or get out in nature,
If your child’s behaviour does suddenly change, try to get to the bottom of things. Perhaps they might become withdrawn or irritable. They might lash out or cry. Sleep disturbance can start. Their behaviour will reflect their emotions, and often those closest to them will feel it the most. Children lack control in lots of ways. Their world is very small, so a change in a significant area can be huge for them. If your partner is struggling with work, help them try to find peace at home. Support them to move forward by listening. Adults can often influence change in their own lives a lot quicker than children.
For support in getting you needs met, why not get in touch and book a counselling session
