Getting our emotional needs met is vital for us to stay healthy. We all have mental health and depending on what is happening in our lives, we are on a continuum somewhere between having good and poor mental health.
If we are stressed, suffering increased anxiety, or feeling a bit down, the scales may have tipped us away from getting our emotional needs met or we may feel our needs are under threat. On the other hand when things are going well and we are feeling settled, it is because our emotional needs are being met more effectively.
Just like a plant or a flower, if we get enough nutrition from the environment around us we will thrive.
There can be blocks to getting our needs met such as a toxic environment which we may need to change.
What are Our Emotional Needs?
We all have the same emotional needs whether we are an adult, child or baby. The way we get them met will depend on us as a person. This is because while in principle our needs are the same, we are all individuals. As a parent we might feel we are meeting the needs of our child really well while they interpret things differently. Or we may struggle to meet their needs if our own are not being met. A bit like the need to put your oxygen mask on before helping someone else with theirs.
- Security – feeling safe in the area you live, your job, school and other important areas of your life.
- Control – We need to have autonomy in our lives, the ability to make decisions and control important things around us. If things are out of control it can be really stressful.
- Emotional Connection – a link with someone who accepts us totally for who we are, this can be a friend, family member or partner for example. Loneliness is really bad for both our physical and mental health
- Privacy – Time to reflect on the things we have done in our day and to be calm.
- Status – A sense of worth and how people value you as an individual.
- Achievement and Competence – we need to accomplish things in life to build up our self esteem and drive us forward
- Meaning and Purpose – Whether through work, caring for small children or caring for an animal we need meaning to get ourselves up in the morning.
- Sleep – adequate sleep is vital for many functions in our lives
- Movement – regular exercise helps burn up stress hormones.
Where can I find out more?
What to know how you are getting on? It is good to do your own needs assessment from time to time, particularly if you think things are out of balance. To find out more why not visit the human givens website
With life being ever changing as it is getting our needs met may be a bit of a roller coaster. Getting them met is something we look closer at together in therapy. To book a session now click below.