Does your child struggle with their confidence at times? Are tests a source of stress or do they freeze up at the thought of a big performance? Below are some simple confidence building techniques for children to help in exam or performance preparation.
There may be times when our children struggle with their confidence. Perhaps it is a school test or some kind of performance. Maybe they have gone through friendship difficulties or a difficult change in their lives. Whatever the situation there are a few things you can do to assist.
A good place to start is making sure they are getting enough sleep, eating regularly, getting enough exercise and having time to relax. Anxiety can affect appetite and sleep for example and lack of food can lower energy levels and mood, so make sure these basic needs are all met. For tips on how to improve sleep click here
Once these needs are met here are some confidence building techniques you can use with your young person.
Confidence Building Techniques for children.
- Reframe the situation
- Find a good relaxation technique and do a visualisation
- Do a grounding technique
- Try the circle of confidence
- Calm bottle
Reframe the situation
Often there will be a lot of pressure on young people to get the best results they can, and there is a lot of stress put on the importance of exams. They are important for the future of a young person, but putting such emphasis on them can be counter productive. For some young people it will give them a sense of competition, while for those who get a bit anxious framing them as so important could be problematic. Meaning that even if they are fully prepared and know the answers they may struggle to access them when they need to.
A simple reframe can help here, to change the way they view the exam / performance etc. An example is that if they are being viewed as a big threat, get the young person to view them as an opportunity to show you what they know. A chance to show off their knowledge. Instead of seeing a big mountain to climb get them to shrink it down to a little slope with a small hurdle to step over, My daughter described the tests she was facing as the dementor from Harry Potter.
Practice Relaxation
Try to help the young person find a way which they can use to relax. There are a variety of techniques available, and controlling their breathing is a simple way of bringing some clarity to the situation. Find out more about a breathing technique here. When they sit there breathing get them to visualise that they are somewhere else, maybe a beach or a forest. And to sit with this until they feel calmer. In a test this can help them access their knowledge
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Calm bottle
I have had young people tell me that they feel like their mind is swirling when they are worried. One way to help settle their mind is to make a calm bottle or buy a snow globe and get them to shake it up. Then put it down and watch the contents of the bottle (glitter) settle while focussing on their breathing. By the time it is all settled they should feel a lot calmer.
The circle of confidence
This is a simple technique which uses their imagination and acts as a grounding technique for when they are overwhelmed.
Help them to identify an animal / person that they associate with confidence.. In our case it was a lion. And think about why this represents confidence (their roar, their size etc.)
Next get them to imagine a circle on the floor in front of them. When they step into it imagine that they are the lion, eyes closed if necessary and feel the confidence in their body. When the power of the image has died down step back out of the circle.
Repeat this process a couple of times.
After the last time, once they are outside the circle get them to shrink the circle down and they can pick it up and put it in their pocket. When they need a confidence boost they can imagine touching the circle and feel the confidence again.
What other skills can they transfer over to the situation.
Often there will be skills they use somewhere else where they are confident which they can transfer to the situation they struggle with, for example my daughter is a competitive swimmer and does not ever get slightly nervous at her galas. Next time she sits a test I have told her to imagine that it is a gala she is swimming rather than a scary test.
Whatever the struggles your young person might have, keeping the conversation going with them is probably the most important thing to do. The more they talk to you the more supported they will feel at difficult times. To work with me or to book a session for your young person why not get in touch